32.

I got engaged this year, and I will be married soon. 

On this birthday, I received so much love from my partner, my mom, and my sister, and other family members, it's been overwhelming. 

Life in my early thirties is uncertain. I feel that the world is mine to rule, yet I can clearly see that I have no control over it. Never have I felt so in control of my own decisions, yet so insufficient of opportunities. I know that hard times pass, and I've gone through harder, but the uncertainty makes me want to run away from my troubles. 

The only people that keep me grounded are my mom and wife-to-be. I am so thankful to have found Zareen; the most loving, caring, and affectionate person I have come across. She fills my life with joy and gives me a reason to go on. May God bless her, and may God always bless my mother, speaking from what little faith I have left. 

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It's hard to believe that in 8 years I will be stepping into my 40's. It's hard to believe life is so fleeting. I knew this, but now I feel it more than ever. 

I want to live longer, live healthier, and prosper. So generic of me, but it's nice to think I will grow old, and may have children of my own one day, and that they will have a loving mother, and I will try to be a good father.

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In my lifetime, I've seen so much, as did my generation, and the pandemic seems to be the peak of it all. Such a harrowing time for us all, yet we must go on, live on, try to be normal, and we do. A friend of mine wrote that the only thing preventing us from knowing that the times are abnormal are the masks on our face. If they hadn't existed, we'd be completely unaware that death is lurking. 

I miss my father. Ever since dad died, I have learned to rid myself of fears I used to have, and as I grow older, I hope that I can face the world a brave, wise, and revered man. Though, as I inch closer to starting a family of my own, I know that that may not be the case. 

On this birthday I wish my loved ones the happiest of lives, and I hope that they achieve every good thing that they deserve in life.