Ill

I am ill. Apart from the alopecia, I am not sure as to what else I have wrong. I haven't seen a doctor about it - or them. I feel a lot of it is due in part to my stress, and smoking, both of which I've correlated. But how can I not be stressed when I can't think or get up out of bed, or when there are days I wake up and feel disoriented, and there are days when my body aches but I just pretend to ignore it. I can't explain how I feel, and I don't expect people to understand. However, I worry sometimes. I use my head to do my job, more than I use my skills. If I can't think properly, then I don't know how I am going to keep my job.

Almost every day feels like a struggle. And on some days, things feel normal. Today is not one of those days.