BismillahirRahmanirRaheem
A year ago, I was brave. A year later I'm listening to Shaykh Hamza Yusuf on Spotify, procrastinating on work, and failing to be a good Muslim and filled with trepidation.
A year ago I had very little practice in my faith. I had questions. I had very little idea of what Allah was/is. Ironically, I also felt invincible. Earlier this year I was subject to crippling anxiety, alhamdulillah. I didn't know it was anxiety or ocd, I just knew that I was mentally devastated. It was debilitating to say the least, but Allah works in the most perfect way. This led me to prayers and to guidance and to seeking out the answers to the questions that were troubling my mind. And in prayer I found love, I found mercy, and I found relief.
I have the same loving mother, the same loving wife, and in laws, and I have the same Allah I always had guarding me, protecting me, guiding me, showing me the cruelty and evils of life, but I have become different. I'm, however, not the same person. I struggle with my bad habits, I struggle to be a good son and a good husband, a good employee, a good colleague and a good friend, as I always have. The only contrast is how much I believe in Allah's plan.
"Lakum dīnukum waliya dīn"
"For you is your religion, and for me is my religion."
